Raising Love Episode 21

How to stop thinking about food all day long

For as long as I can remember my life revolved around food. And not in the fun, enjoyable way.

I was OBSESSED. I would think about the next meal before I had even finished the meal I was eating. Though, it wasn’t necessarily a meal. It was breakfast as soon as I woke up, snack a few hours later, 11 am lunch because I was STARVING, early afternoon snack, late afternoon snack, dinner time (still starving) then dessert.

All the while wondering what I was going to eat next. And hardly enjoying any of the food I was actually eating.

If a food thought popped into my head about something yummy to eat I couldn’t get rid of it until I ate it. Whether I wanted to or not. Whether I was actually hungry or not.

But, then again, I never truly felt hungry. I only thought I did. I told myself I was hungry because I hadn’t eaten for 3 hours so my body must be feeling deprived. I had better go and get some more food to shove in my face.

This food-obsessed cycle went over for about 3 decades. Give or take a few years. I am now 45 and the cycle has ended. FINALLY. I finally feel free.

Listen in to know more.

About Raising Love

Raising love within yourself as only you can.

It’s time to raise ourselves up with love and discover who we truly are inside. Without all of the punishment, hurt and unworthiness driving us into despair.

Raising love involves all women whose bodies and minds are filled with hate, anger, frustration, self-loathing, sadness, loneliness. And whose bodies have been punished over the years because of how you have felt about yourself for way too long.

Because you are a woman who is smart, funny, kind, loving, mindful, caring, inspiring, powerful, strong, bold and passionate. You have dreams, ideas and feelings which should not be dismissed. By anyone. Especially you.

This podcast is for all of you beautiful women who have said “ENOUGH”.

Whoever you are right in this very moment. Wherever you have come from. Wherever you are headed.

It’s time to raise love within yourself.

More ways to Raise Love

Hi, I’m Kelly and welcome to the Raising Love podcast. Raising love within yourself as only you can.

Brought to you by LOVE body and the Positively You program.

For as long as I can remember my life revolved around food. And not in the fun, enjoyable way.

I was OBSESSED. I would think about the next meal before I had even finished the meal I was eating. Though, it wasn’t necessarily a meal. It was breakfast as soon as I woke up, snack a few hours later, 11 am lunch because I was STARVING, early afternoon snack, late afternoon snack, dinner time (still starving) then dessert.

All the while wondering what I was going to eat next. And hardly enjoying any of the food I was actually eating.

If a food thought popped into my head about something yummy to eat I couldn’t get rid of it until I ate it. Whether I wanted to or not. Whether I was actually hungry or not.

But, then again, I never truly felt hungry. I only thought I did. I told myself I was hungry because I hadn’t eaten for 3 hours so my body must be feeling deprived. I had better go and get some more food to shove in my face.

This food obsessed cycle went over for about 3 decades. Give or take a few years. I am now 45 and the cycle has ended. FINALLY. I finally feel free.

While I was in this cycle there were a few things happening. 1. I hated myself. 2. I felt disgusting. 3. I had literally no self worth. 4. I didn’t believe in who I was. 5. I had no purpose to encourage me to feel better, to do better.

That all changed when I brought our daughter into the world. Throughout my whole pregnancy we had no idea if we were having a boy or a girl.

Early on in my relationship with my husband we were at a friends wedding Fremantle. We travelled from Sydney so we were there for about 5 days. One afternoon a day or two before the wedding we were all at a pub (friends and family attending the wedding) when this feeling came over me that we were going to have a little girl together.

I held onto that feeling and knew it was true. So when our daughter was born I made a promise to myself and to her that I would do everything I can to protect her, to guide her, to give her the love she needs and to be the mother I never had.

This was my purpose.

My purpose has grown and evolved into helping other women create a deeper connection with themselves as they listen o the woman within, learn who they truly are and love every single part of themselves again.

And just end the battle with their weight and their body and to help end this crazy cycle of hatred, eating, disgust, more eating, self loathing and even more eating.

We deserve better than this. YOU deserve better than this. I deserve better than this.

So, however you got to where you are right now. It doesn’t matter any more. What matters is freeing yourself from this cycle and opening yourself up to a world of love, admiration, gratitude, strength, positivity and happiness.

I want to share with you some power moves which will end the overeating cycle. For good!

1. Love.

Love yourself. Even if it is only a teeny, tiny, teensy little bit to begin with. That is all you need to get started. You can allow the love to grow as you begin to grow.
Tell yourself this love statement every morning when you wake up.
“I love who I am. I am a beautiful person. I deserve to feel love, to give love and receive love.”
Notice how you feel after only a few days of saying this.

Every thought you tell yourself you believe whether it is negative or positive. Your brain cannot tell the difference. Your brain doesn’t choose negative or positive. Your brain will believe anything you tell it so why not tell it you are beautiful. You are strong. You’re capable. You are loved., you are worthy.

Wayne Dwyer says “As you think so you shall be” and “You see it when you believe it.”

How many times have we said “I’ll believe it when I see it.”? Why not change that around and allow yourself to see it first, then you will believe in it. Visualisations are powerful things. Visualise yourself as you want to be. Picture in your minds eye that amazing, confident, inspiring woman. You see that often enough and then you BECOME it. Your mind will not know the difference. It doesn’t know you are not this person. Only you do. Trick your mind into believing and the rest will follow.

Repeat multiple times a day, “I love who I am. I am a beautiful person. I deserve to feel love, to give love and receive love.”

Watch how amazing you FEEL as you have this on repeat in your mind. Allow yourself to really feel that wonderful emotion. Fill your whole being up with it. It is ok for you to do this for yourself. It is ok for you to feel good about yourself.

Food does not have to be that for you anymore. You are that for yourself. Food can be enjoyed. It is ok to enjoy it. But replace that NEED for food with the NEED to FEEL better. To feel good about who you are. Because you truly are an amazing women who deserves her own love. You get to bring that love to yourself. No one else. Nothing else can do that for you. Feel it. Think it. Believe it. And, remember. Raise love within yourself as only you can.

2. admiration.

Who do you admire? For me I admire strong women who use their talents and intellect to inspire other women to do the same. This is an exciting time for women. We are standing up and owning ourselves more than ever. It will still take time but we cannot let ourselves to believe the crap any more. We ARE beautiful. We ARE strong. We ARE amazing.

Admire this in yourself. Admire this in others. Surround yourself with a tribe of strong, amazing women who are there to lift you up and admire you back.

The verb admire means to look at with wonder and pleasure. We don’t do this with ourselves often enough. When was the last time you looked at yourself with pleasure? When was the last time you celebrated who you are?

If you have a great day at work and your presentation went amazingly; do you celebrate? Or do you brush it off and dismiss how awesome you were? I bet it’s more than likely the latter.

As women we tend to remove ourselves from any of the good we do because we are afraid we will look big headed, stuck up, showy. We have been taught to underplay our accomplishments. Don’t shine too bright in case you make someone else feel bad.

Bullshit. We have every right to shine and believe in our accomplishments.

Admire yourself. Admire every struggle, every win, every flaw, every blessing, every advantage, every pitfall; EVERYTHING!

Admire all that surrounds you. There is so much beauty within you. There is so much beauty outside of you. Show another woman that she has so much beauty in her to be admired as well.

Loving yourself, admiring who you are and noticing all the good things about who you are gives your mind something else to focus on. Take the focus away from the food. Put it onto how awesome you are. Then the need for food will slowly but surely disappear.

3. Gratitude.

What do you have in your life right now that you are grateful for? Do you think about it often? Or even every now and again?

If you had to write down 3 things, off the top of your head, for which you are grateful what would you write?

Go and grab a piece pf paper and a pen and write them down. I’ll wait.

What did you write? Was it hard to think of something?

When I first starting doing this exercise I found it a little challenging. I hadn’t ever stopped to consider what I was grateful for. I had never actually showed gratitude for any of the wonderful things I have in my life. I wanted. I expected. I was never grateful.

Gratitude is a powerful move towards loving who you are and loving the life you have. It can move mountains of pain, hurt, hatred and disgust; and open your eyes to the true beauty that is your life.

Continue to write down 3 things you are grateful for every day and notice how this shifts your mindset. Show gratitude and thanks for every little thing in your day, in your life and about who you are. Be grateful for how amazing your body is. Be grateful for the delicious food you are about to eat. Be grateful for such a wonderful opportunity to experience this beautiful earth and all that she has waiting for you. I promise, when you do this you will begin to feel differently straight away.

4. Strength

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Unknown

When our son was born sleeping it was beyond devastating. Even though I knew absolutely we would have a daughter, the death of our son was no less heartbreaking. I believed, at the time, I would never be a mother and I couldn’t understand why he was taken from us.

Getting through the day was confronting. It was painful. It was tough.

We all have times in our lives when we want to curl up into a ball and stay there forever. We want to be invisible and for the world to leave us the fuck alone. But it doesn’t. The earth keeps spinning and life keeps going.

Eventually we have to dig deep and find the strength to keep going. To find a way to live again. Even in the darkest of times there is always be a strength inside of us which pulls us back into the light.

Find your inner strength. Use it to put down that biscuit and remind yourself that you are strong. You are beautiful and you are bloody worth looking after. Food is not your comfort anymore. It is not whatever you have made it to be. Food is meant to be enjoyed. Food is meant to energise us and nourish us and love us. Love the food you eat. Be strong and loving in whatever choice you make at meal time. When you bring love into the occasion, it feels so much better.

You have a strength inside you that is there to encourage you. To love you. That strength knows you are so much more than a woman who NEEDS to eat five million times a day. That strength will shift your focus to more love for yourself so eventually food does not rule your day anymore.

YOU get to decide how much you eat and when. You get to listen to your body and truly know when it needs to be fed and when it has had enough. Your emotions are ones of love, kindness and joy. Because you now know that you deserve all of the good stuff.

And your strength will continue to guide you back to the good stuff until you live there permanently.

5. Positivity

I reckon I was one of the worlds worse for negativity. My immediate thought to anything was negative. My whole view of the world, and especially myself, was negative.

Thankfully all of that has changed and I feel so free. Ahhh…it is the best feeling. I’m not perfect though. I still have negative thoughts but the difference is I now recognise those thoughts and I challenge them. I ask if they are real or if I am making them up. Am I seeing the situation negatively and, if so, how can I change it to be more positive?

I must admit it feels a little uncomfortable sometimes seeing the positive and feeling the way I do now; which is happy! I was in a state of negativity for so long it was completely ingrained in me. I knew no other way. The uncomfortable feelings are slowly receding and eventually they will completely disappear.

To change those negative thoughts into positive ones do this: Reverse it and replace it.

Reverse the negative thought right out of your head and replace it with a positive one.

Reverse “I am hopeless” and replace it with “I am capable”
Reverse “Why does this keep happening to me” and replace it with “Thank you for the lesson. I am ready to learn”.

In time the negative thoughts will lessen. They probably won’t completely disappear forever but what will happen is you get quicker at reversing and replacing; and you will no longer believe the negative thoughts. You will only believe in the positive. And this will stop you from mindlessly wandering into the kitchen or stopping at a fast food place on your way home and eating something you know you don’t want or need.

6. Happiness

Happiness is a tough one, isn’t it? We all want to be happy. We strive for it on a daily basis, yet where is it?

Most of us look for happiness on the outside. Happiness will arrive when I get a boyfriend. Happiness will arrive when I lose 30 kilos/pounds. Happiness will arrive when I get my dream job. Happiness will arrive when I earn X amount of dollars.

Notice how these are all external? Where is the happiness from the inside?

Happiness will arrive when I love myself more. Happiness will arrive when I feel grateful for my life. Happiness will arrive when I look at the world with positive eyes. Happiness will arrive when I welcome it into my life.

Happiness is ME!

Now, you are probably asking “How does this have anything to do with me not eating til my stomach is about to burst?”

I can tell you it has EVERYTHING to do with how much you are overeating. You are overheating because you do not love yourself, you do not admire yourself, you do not feel grateful for who you are, you do not know how strong you are, you do not see yourself with positive eyes and you do not look within yourself to be happy because of all of the above.

I have done the work and I can tell you I do not over eat anymore. I do not eat my emotions and I do not think about food every minute I am awake. I still love food (kind of goes with the territory as a nutritionist) but the food I love is nourishing. It is supplying my body with the nutrients it needs to function and feel invigorated. I feel amazing for the first time in over 30 years. I love myself and I admire the person I have become.

Food does not control me anymore. I control it. I listen to my body when it is hungry (my and I listen to my body when it tells me it has had enough food.

I don’t feel the need to stuff my face with chocolate, biscuits, ice cream and all the other unhealthy foods I would eat when I was feeling lonely, sad and depressed.

My life is full of things to be grateful for. I appreciate them everyday.

I AM HAPPY.

That is a sentence I never thought I would say. Happiness was for other people. Not me. I didn’t deserve it.

Guess what? I do, and so do you.

Look for it inside yourself. It is in there. It may take a little while to find it but keep looking. With eyes, heart and mind wide open, keep looking.

You will find it.

Thank you so much for listening, beautiful. This really is a dream come true for me.

I spent so much of my life being quiet, not speaking up, staying small that I forgot I have a voice worth listening to.

You may not always agree with what I say and that’s ok.

This is a conversation between us. Yes, I have lots to say but I also want to hear what you have to say.

So, leave me a comment, email me your thoughts, get in touch and let me know what conversations you’d like to have, what your thoughts are about this podcast.

But before you go, I invite you to find out more about the Positively You program. Inside the program there are more lessons about you and your body. And really figuring out what it is that your body wants and needs, so you can focus on more loving, fun and enjoyable things. No more thinking about food all day long. Only when you are truly hungry.

It’s time, beautiful. Time to listen, learn and love.

To find out more, please use the link in the show notes.

Continue raising love within yourself. Speak soon.

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